Holidays are a time when people want to be together. It is considered a right of passage to invite your significant other to your home for the holidays but in modern dating this does not always work for everyone. Sometimes you and your partner could have conflicting work schedules and it is hard for the two of you to get away together during the holidays. Long-term relationships might even try to alternate days when spending time with their families during the holidays but sometimes this does not work out. For most people, they will try to spend as much time with their families as possible even when it causes stress on their relationship and this is not a good thing.
If you spend the holidays apart, it shows that you and your partner have a strong and trusting relationship and that the two of you are able to communicate and compromise. You understand each other's family situations and will most likely make plans to spend another time either before or after the holidays with each other's families to make it up to them. You are probably also planning to spend a few days during the holiday season with just the two of you. Most importantly, you realize that you do not need to spend every single moment together to show how much you love and appreciate your partner. It also gives each other space that you need without either of you having to ask for it. In the end, being able to spend time apart is going to make your relationship stronger.
In the beginning of a relationship, depending on when people get together, they usually spend the holidays apart because they are just getting to know each other and they do not want the added pressure of introducing their family to their partner over the holidays. It is considered a serious step to introduce someone to your family and bring them over for the holidays. Most dating advice will advise spending the holidays together but this is not always possible especially if your families live in different places than you. Spending the holidays apart is very common for older couples who already have their own traditions that they have established. Instead of forcing their partner to follow their traditions, they make up their own and create new memories together.
Many people will not understand if you spend the holidays apart from your partner. They will most likely think that you are having issues or that you have problems with your family. This is not usually the case, people have different traditions and family obligations especially during the holidays. It does not mean that you and your partner are having issues or that you do not like each other's families but that you understand that there is a need to be apart to help alleviate stress on your relationship and your time. It is hard to fit every family tradition and obligation into the holidays especially if both you and your partner are close to your families. For example, one partner might be from a divorced family and has to spend time with both of their parents during the holiday. While there is a tendency to share everything with your partner, spending time apart and with other people who are important to you gives each other personal space.
If you are planning on spending the holidays apart, make sure that it is a decision that you made together. Make sure that you sit down before the holidays and discuss what the schedule is going to be so that you can find the best solution. By doing this, you have proved that you and your partner have strong communication and are able to compromise. This includes not letting other people's opinions and observations about your relationship put you and your partner in an uncomfortable situation. It is impossible to spend time with everyone during the holidays which is why you might decide that it would be easier to spend time with your families instead.
Just make sure that your family and your friends know that you both made the decision to spend the holidays separately and it is not because of any problem or argument that you and your partner are having. Since you made the decision together, it shows that the two of you are a united front. To help prevent any problems, try video chatting with your family before the holiday and letting them know that you will be spending the holidays apart so that they are prepared for it. The fact that you made the decision together means that you can sit and talk to each other and that you do not make plans without first consulting each other. As long as you know why you are spending the holidays apart and that you are transparent about your feelings, you will be able to spend the holidays apart from your partner without any problems.
You and your partner do not need to spend every moment together because you trust each other. The holidays are very important to people and by spending them apart, you are showing others that you trust each other. Sometimes when couples are too dependent or clingy they are hiding insecurity in the relationship. You are also trusting them to represent you and your relationship while they are alone with their family on the holidays. It also shows people that even when you are not together, you are still supporting each other. If you are missing them then just send them a text or give them a call at the end of the night, asking them how their holiday was. Trust is the most important thing in a relationship and you need to be able to feel comfortable with your partner doing things without you. Forcing your partner to come with you and celebrate the holidays together just shows that you do not trust them around other people.
People are not all the same and they all have different values and experiences that are important to them. The holidays are usually a time when traditions become very important and people do not like giving them up. If you celebrate in a certain way with your family and your partner celebrates differently then it could cause some conflict if you try to force each other to do spend the holidays together. Either way, someone is probably going to end up disappointed or frustrated by the chaotic schedule. Differences are good because they make the relationship more interesting. Spending the holidays apart also shows how much you value your partner and their traditions. Instead of forcing each other to be part of your family traditions, you are giving them the chance to be with their family. You are also planning on celebrating alone with your partner either before or after the holidays. This will only strengthen your relationship in the long-term.
No one wants to fight especially during the holidays which is why the two of you are willing to do anything to keep the peace. The way to cut down on the arguing is to compromise and sometimes the result is having to spend the holidays separately. If you are willing to spend the holidays apart, then you and your partner are capable of compromising and making decisions that will make each other happy. Instead of spending your time arguing or stressing each other out trying to fit in everything that you need to do, you know how to delegate responsibilities and figure out the best solution for everyone. A solution to this could be spending Christmas Day or New Year's Day apart but celebrating the day before together. That way everyone is happy.
Although you want to spend the holidays with your partner, you are understanding when this does not work out. You are flexible and realize that it is not about the specific date but the effort that you are willing to make. Compromise does mean sacrificing your own needs and desires just to make your partner happy. It means being able to figure out what is most important to the two of you and create a strategy that works the best for your relationship and your schedules. You both realize that the separation is only temporary and that you will be back together when the holidays are over.
It is unrealistic in modern dating and long-term relationships to expect to spend every single moment with your partner. People have their own lives and interests that they spend their time and energy on as well as things that they do together with their partner. This does not mean that the relationship is not important but that the relationship is strong enough to deal with any kind of distance. It also shows that you are willing to work with your partner and let each other grow as individuals which will only make the relationship better. If you are spending the holidays apart then you are not clingy or insecure about your relationship.
Spending time away from your partner can be good for your relationship. It keeps things fresh and interesting since you get to experience different things and then come back and talk to each other about it. This will give you new things to share with your partner. It also shows the different ways that you and your partner support each other. Just because you are spending time apart for a little while does not mean that you still cannot reach out to them and see how they are doing. It is important to keep communication open especially during the holidays. Send them funny photos of you and your family and let them know that you miss them. Give their parents a call and wish them happy holidays so that they know that you are thinking of them. Make sure that you are still reaching out to them even when you are not spending the holidays in the same place.
If it is your choice to spend the holidays separately, then it says something about how your relationship works. There is nothing wrong with making up your own rules about your relationship. In traditional dating, people will spend the holidays together since this is a time for family and you and your partner are families. Some people might even claim that spending the holidays apart will reveal something about your relationship and the way that you feel about your partner. Just remember that these people do not know anything about your relationship and what happens between you and your partner and they are speaking out based on assumptions about dating. No relationship is the same and the important thing to remember that only you and your partner get to define how your relationship works.
Since spending holidays apart is outside of traditional relationships, it shows that you and your partner do not mind being different from everyone else. The two of you can make decisions together without letting someone else make the rules for you. You do not need constant reassurance from each other since you are comfortable with your relationship. You are capable of showing each other in other ways that you love each other and that you are a family. You both realize that you do not define your relationship by the few days that you do not spend together. Maybe you are planning to celebrate on a different day or maybe you are going to make plans to travel together part of the way before separating. As long as you are making choices to spend time together with your partner as much as possible and support your relationship even when you are apart, that is the most important thing.
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